Maybe I Can Change // open

[Abigail Bennett]

Abby had a sudden feeling of what might happen if this teasing continued. There was no turning back now, not that she would. She was never like this with anyone and if she continued to tease him and not offend him, she could very well end up in this gentleman's bed. A huge wave of eagerness and excitement went through her at the idea. She could do it, she had never done it before, but after this, she couldn't back down. She never backed out of challenges. If she ever married, then she'd have to make up a reason why she would not be pure anymore. Oh well, she would not worry about that now.

She couldn't help, but smile at Rhett as he stood up and stayed still as she whispered into his ear. He told her that he loved challenges just like she was. She found it very entertaining that they seemed to come from very different environments, but still have quite a bit in common.

"I like those as well. Challenges can be fun, have you yet to turn down one?" She asked him curiously as they headed back down the road again before she was stopped as he stepped in front of her. She raised an eyebrow at his statement before feeling his lips connect with hers unexpectedly. She gasped softly against his lips, but found herself not being able to seperate herself from them. His arms were wrapped around her and she slowly placed her hands on his shoulders before kissing him back gently. Everything seemed to disappear around them and she slowly pulled away a few seconds later smiling brightly at him.

"Well now, I might be able to forgive you for that Mr. Antony, you will have to make it up to me though. Do you think you can handle that?" She asked him softly with a smirk resting on her red lips from her kiss.

[Rhett Laeghton Antony]

Rhett was a great lover of the passions of life. He enjoyed indulging in lusting, gambling, drinking, watching plays, and winning whatever was there to win. He wasn't especially skilled or taught in the ways of war, nor did he expect one to arise, so he never minded those silly little threats. He boasted, oh yes, all the time. About everything. He boasted of his swordsmanship, his navigation ability, his acting skill... None of which he actually possessed. He was, blatently, a liar.

He was a liar and a sinner and a criminal. It was the plain truth.

And what he didn't understnd right now was why anyone would dare trust him. He had the reputation anyways. No one in their right mind would do what he wanted, lest they recieve good payment for it, and he spent his evenings with some rum and a poker deck.

"I have not. Unfortunately." He kissed her more than he had been, wondering why she trusted him the whole time. When she pulled back, he laughed and brushed his hair out of his pale face.

"Oh, I can. Tenfold. But my dear, may I ask why you trust me as you do? You do not know me, might I assert. Ah, but 'tis merely life, and its strange curiosities." He wanted to kiss her again, but he chose against it. He was wondering what the consequences for any further actions would be, both from the law and her parents. That wasn't exactly something to look forward to, he knew. His past was rough.

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[Abigail Bennett]

It didn't take long for Abby to realize how different her and Rhett's backgrounds really were. Abby was brought up in a lonely, privileged, sad world surrounded by rich snobs who thought they were better than everyone else while she could tell that Rhett wasn't. Something had happened to him and she was a bit curious to know why. However knowing it was none of her business, she decided to forget all about it. She could worry when she took the time to really sit down somewhere and think about it.

That was the last thing on her mind as Rhett kissed her once more and she kissed him back once more before they both pulled away slowly. He began to chuckle and she did the same thing back as she realized just how long his hair was. She liked it. She liked it alot.

"Really now? Would you enlighten me by telling me some challenges you have succeeded or failed at before? I might tell you mine." She asked him curiously with a smirk as he then asked her a serious question. Why she trusted him? Well truth was, she wasn't scared of him. He was different that any man she had ever met and she respected him for that.

"Well the truth is that I respect and trust you because you are nothing like any other man I have come across. I admire your bravery, your honesty and the fact that you're different. We are young and you have the chance to do whatever you desire. I can not and I am jealous of that. Also I am not scared of you, if I had not wanted to talk to you, I would not have. I enjoy your company. Are you trying to tell me something? That I shouldn't trust you? Should I leave you alone?" She asked him curiously turning around so that she was staring at him.

[Rhett Laeghton Antony]

Regarding Rhett's rather unortunate past, he had Perhaps that was the problem, that he never knew. And he needed to know. But he didn't really care to return to his father, just to ask. His father was quiet, solitary, and full of rage. In fact, he was the one person Rhett feared in the world.

Rhett savoured her kisses but wasn't intent on having her just yet. He stood back momentarily to admire her, still concerned with the consequences of tainting such a fair creature. The more Rhett thought, the more he began to use logic. He was no more thinking the thoughts of a rogue, but rather a gentleman. This needed to end, soon. He didn't care for these well-groomed habits. Perhaps this was the reason he was so bad.

"My challenges are not something you'd care to hear, dearest, trust me," he laughed, trying to shake off the rather serious air around what he'd said. He didn't want to talk either of his past or his lovers. That was a useless step in the wrong direction.

The smirk on his lusty face was disappearing more with every word she said. He didn't know whether to admit his awful self or not. Did he dare shut her up now, just to have her, and then tell her later? Oh no. That would be even worse. "You cannot trust a man without knowing who he is. That's all I will say, and let your better judgment wrestle now." After a pause, he added, remorsefully, "I don't want to take your celibacy, if you have such. I am a bad man but I am not too lowly to be a gentleman." He kissed her softly and sighed.

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[Abigail Bennett]

Abby hated sudden judgments regarding herself or any other person. She received it all the time from people who didn't know her and assumed that she was a rich snob just like everyone else. Rhett wasn't like that, sure that's maybe why he talked to her in the first place, but he soon realized that just like every other woman in the country, she didn't have a voice. Or a choice. She wished women had more rights, but until then, she had no other choice, but to listen to her stepfather. No one knew her family like she did, everyone assumed that they were happy being rich and content with everything, it was nothing of the sort. All the women were miserable, but never acted like it. Eli didn't want to take over the family business, he thought Abby should since she was the oldest and her stepfather never showed Abby any kind of real affection and that hurt her. So why did she trust a complete stranger? She wasn't sure right now.

She suddenly a change in air and knew that he could be possibly shutting down on her, but why? He was the one who spoke to her first and then proposed that they have some fun. Now he was having a change of heart? All these thoughts ran through her mind, why now?

She then chuckled softly pushing a piece of her hair from her face from the wind, "I have heard worse than what you have probably done. You have not met my younger brother and my arrogant, selfish, pig of a stepfather. I have seen and heard more than you know. However if you wish not to tell me, then that is alright. I do not have delicate ears or anything of the sort, I'm nothing like the stereotype." She reminded him with a soft sigh before he spoke once again. Opening her mouth once more, she started to reply, but was surprised to have a kiss planted on her lips. She kissed him back softly and then absorbed what Rhett had told her. Abby wasn't necessarily shocked at him confessing that he wasn't necessarily a saint, but he still was a gentleman.

Sighing at the same time Abby nodded her head slowly, "If you're trying to scare me off suddenly, it is not working. You are correct about trusting someone I hardly know, I will admit, but obviously I have stayed here. Women are good judge of characters. You say you're a bad man, but there is some good in you. I can sense it. If you were a really bad man, then you have taken me somewhere against my will and done something horrible. As for the matter of my celibacy, I do have it still so if you don't want it anymore, then that is acceptable. You do not need to convice me that you're not too lowly to be a gentleman, I already am aware of that. Now we can have different options right now, we can either leave it as that and say goodbye to one another or we could change the subject and continue our conversation. I never expected anything from this except just enjoying my day away from being a cage." She replied wondering what exactly was running through his mind. She wasn't able to read his mind or anything so she found herself eagerly waiting for a response. She always prepared for the worst so no matter what happens, she would live with it and move on like it never happened.

[Rhett Laeghton Antony]

Blood was pulsating through Rhett's veins like he was about to do something daring. He was working so hard against himself not to hurt her, to be a gentleman. But Rhett's mind was losing control and the resto fhim gaining. He wanted her. It was true. But if he were to take something like that from her, Rhett might not ever forgive himself.

He kissed her fervently, against his better judgment. He wanted to. He needed to. But he had to stop himself. He pulled back with a rather sizeable gasp for air.

"My dear," he said, "It's not your ears I am concerned about. If I were a better man I would be able to control this wanting I have. But Abigail, you do not know what I've done. What I've seen. What I've tried so hard to forget." He sighed, and kissed her again, so passionately that he didn't know how he would ever be able to stop himself. The only thing keeping him from her right now was the knowing she was a virgin.

"I must hope you are a good judge of character, for it may be my only salvation. I see no good in myself. I am not a good man. I have it in me to do those awful things to you-- and I would. But I haven't, and I know and..." he couldn't think any more. To be perfectly honest, his body was about to consume him with desire, and he wouldn't be able to hold this off much longer without a decent distraction.

He leaned forward and whispered to her, "I will not take you, then, for you must save yourself for him who you marry. I'm so sorry, Abigail. I am weak to myself, as much as I want you." He held her to him and kissed her tenderly. This was insane.

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[Abigail Bennett]

The heat was slowly rising both in the air and in Abby. She found herself wanting more of Rhett every single they kissed or touched. He was holding her tightly in his arms and she found that she didn't want him to let go. She was literally driving her crazy, this teasing from both of them and then him slowly changing his mind. She could sort of understand why.

She slowly reached her hand up to stroke his cheek gently when he kissed her passionately and deeply on her lips. She groaned in surprise against his mouth. She immedately wrapped her arms around his neck running a finger through his long, blonde hair that was blowing in the wind. She decided to be brave and open her mouth a bit more and then he pulled away gasping for breath. She found herself doing the same and quite enjoying it. Giving him a smile, she rubbed his back gently with the palm of her hand, trying to relieve the tension. Listening to him call her by her first name startled her, but she didn't mind it none-the-less.

"Rhett my dear please call me Abby, everyone calls me that. You're right, I don't know what you've done, but I know you're not a bad man. You'd be in the jail if you were. You're not a bad man, please believe me when I say this. If you were a bad man or a criminal, you would have dragged me off and done whatever you wanted to me by now. Or stolen from me, these dumb jewels are worth more than enough. You have been nothing, but respectable and kind towards me. I just find myself confused right now, however, I am not worried or frightened. If you want me to know what you have done, let us sit down somewhere private and you can tell me. I promise I won't judge you if my words means anything like you said they would." She commented to him taking a piece of his hair and pulling it from his face.

Suddenly she felt another hard kiss on her lips and she kissed him back just as deep as before. She moaned softly against his lips and feeling the vibrations against their mouths made her shiver a bit in his arms. She pulled away softly and rested her forehead against his while taking her hat off so it would not bump his head.

"You are a good man Rhett please, your past does not define you now and I know that sounds lame, but it is true. What can I do to help you realize that? I will help you in any way I can," She replied as they kissed softly once more. She watched Rhett lean towards her ear while taking a deep breath as she listened to what he said. After everything he wasn't going to take her and she felt a tiny sense of relief, but she felt herself a bit disappointed at the same time.

Scowling a bit, she sighed, "I would rather have you than the man my stepfather wants me to marry. He's a pig and treats me with so much disrespect that I would do anything not to marry him He even once grabbed my arm and left a bruise. However I can understand so I'm grateful for your respect and honesty. I confess myself weak towards you as well." She admitted out loud finally feeling a bit relieved yet at the same time feeling a bit embarrassed when he didn't want her anymore.

[Rhett Laeghton Antony]

Unbelievibly, Rhett was calmed by Abigail's soft caresses, rather than urged on. He had committed his body to rest now, and was beginning to realise how well he controlled himself. This was a new feeling, a new challenge. But it felt good to be a good person for once, and Rhett was almost tempted to do things like this more often, both for his salvation and his reputation, among other things like his confidence and security. It was a nice feeling, to be sure.

"Abby," he savoured. "I like that very much. My dear, if there's someone willing to listen, I would pour my life out. But I always fear I will be tossed aside like rubbish once I tell. But if you're up for it, I would be more than happy to make some tea and converse, if you'll promise not to hate me after I tell you." He kissed her softly again, missing that feeling, and sighed with what he thought might have been doubt. He was so far the only person who knew his past in its entirety, for he always feared the law and better judgment of others in Charleston and back home. He saw no good in himself.

"And if you can prove me wrong, I shall also buy you a new hat. But I do not think I am a good man, Abby, and you may not either before too long." But he almost knew he could trust her, unlike others. An emotion radiated from her like none he'd ever known. She was different, plain and simple.

Rhett raised an eyebrow. "You are betrothed? If 'twasn't so, I would ask you to marry me now. But I've not evough money to support another on my lifestyle. I was never supposed to make a good beau, my father said, just a businessman. I was never meant to wed, I don't think." He smiled reasonably, looking like he was satisfied with himself, though inside he was a paradox of his expression. He was still so insecure.

He sighed and wondered if he was too far gone. Catholicism would never accept him in the state he was in. Why should a woman?

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[Abigail Bennett]

A woman's touch could do wonders to a man both in sexual and non-sexual ways. At first Abby found herself wanting to be touched and touch him sexually, but everything had turned around. Instead of teasing and flirting, they were both now being incredibly serious and to a point, it was starting to scare her a bit.

When he said her nickname, she felt a tingle run up her spine and she found that she liked it. She liked it very much, no one had made her feel like that before. She still had her arms wrapped around him with her hat still attached to her hand. The other hand was going through his hair at the present time. She could tell that people were staring to stare at them, but if she was being perfectly honest with herself, she found that she did not mind it whatsoever.

She then smiled once more, playing with a strand of his hair, "If you tell me your life story, I will tell you mine. Mine hasn't been easy as well. Everyone thinks that I do not have any problems or issues to deal with because I am rich and have people deal with my problems. I hate that, very much so. I would rather make all the mistakes I can instead of not dealing with them. How else would I learn right? You will be tossed aside like rubbish if you tell me Rhett, I promise you that. I'm not like all the rich snobs here, I swear to you that and I will go to my lowly grave with that. I would love to converse with you more if you will have the pleasure of my company. I shall never hate you, I assure you I'm not like that." She replied as he kissed her once more. She gladly kissed him back softly and pulled away slowly.

Raising an eyebrow slowly, Abby wondered if he was presenting a challenge towards her. She never passed up on any challenges, she hadn't won them all, but it was still fun none the less to try.

"Is that a challenge my dear Rhett? If so, I am afraid that I might have to take you up on that. I am not one to decline a challenge. I do not need a new hat, I just need some freedom and whether you see it or not, you provide that for me. You are a good man please believe me on that. You can not scare me away you know. I have been around worse people who consider themselves better than everyone else and I know you're not like that." She commented softly trying to make him relax more, seeing that his confidence was at a low, made her frown.

At Rhett's question of being betrothed, she literally scowled and snorted loudly, very unladylike. Not yet, she growled to herself inside.

"No I am not betrothed to that piece of scum, my stepfather wishes me to marry him, but I refuse to. Just to keep the family name pure, some nonsense of that. I have stopped paying attention to that conversation a long time ago. You wish to marry me?" She asked him shocked, her eyes suddenly going wide and then she shook her head no, "No you do not want to marry me Rhett. I tend to scare people off because of my beliefs and desires. I hate being in the South. I hate where my life is going right now. I can not do that to you, pull you down with me. I won't do that to you. I refuse to do that to you, so please rethink that statement. After all we have just met as well. Of course you're meant to wed, at least you do not have to marry. You have that freedom to choose whoever you want to marry and leave whenever you want. I find myself envious of you for that reason." She confessed shocked at herself for telling him everything, but that was who she was. A honest person. She wouldn't change that for anything.

She then glanced up at him with a small smile, "Shall we go and have some of that tea?" She asked him curiously.

[Rhett Laeghton Antony]

There had once been a time in Rhett's miserable existance when he'd been happy, benevolent, sensitive, and forgiving, even to himself. It was three years after the violent incident, when he'd finally learned that he didn't have to be a criminal, a dark destroyer if you would. He'd been a gentleman, a churchgoer, and he'd thought he'd been redeemed in his faith. He was set to marry and would have, if it weren't for some of the reasons he fled to Charleston. It was once he got to Charleston that Rhett had to hide his past, so he picked up his old self and became a vile sinner again.

He knew he could change. He'd been so close. But maybe God had condemned him to eternal damnation in the eyes of the world. He picked up all his bad habits much too easily, as though they'd been waiting there on the doorstep the whole time he'd forgotten of them. They controlled him. Haunted him.

With his life in the hands of an angry God, Rhett was being destroyed. But he still wanted, somewhere down inside of him, to be the person he knew he could be. Not arrogant. Not lusty. Not self-centered. Damnit, not even rude. He wanted to be a gentleman, a follower. Then would have to go the drinking, the gambling, the women, the cockfights, and the mind games. He could be good. Rhett knew it better than anyone.

"Good," he whispered softly. "It doesn't disappoint, I can assure. Full of wickedness, my dear, but perhaps it's not what I thought it was once." He raised his eyebrow at this next comment and replied with a throaty laugh, "I've never met a woman so set on challenges as she who stands here."

He offered her his arm and began to walk. He acted almost offended at her response but recognised too the suddenness of his irrational offer. "You may change your mind yet. I've money, my dear." He smiled. Then he remembered something. "But lest you be constrained by your past and its demons, you've no real bonds to hold you." He knew something she didn't yet. He knew he could never marry. He could never give his heart away completely to anyone. It was too scarred, and he was too in love to let anyone else have a go at it.

Those were his real demons. The rest of his past was misfortune. But she had ruined Rhett Antony.

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[Abigail Bennett]

All around the city of Charleston, there were people on the streets who often claimed to be mind readers, fortune tellers and other things of the sort and Abby was always fascinated by them. At the moment, she wished she could be one right now because she wanted to know what exactly was going through Rhett’s mind. She could tell he was worried about something because of how tense he had suddenly become. With her arms wrapped around his shoulders she could suddenly feel it and wanted to help him relieve of it. She had seen her mother massage his shoulders when he was stressed out and he had claimed that it had worked in the past. She was not confident that she would succeed in that sense with Rhett. He was much younger and less stressed compared to her stepfather. Rhett was free to do whatever he desired. She did not understand what could cause him to tense up. It was obvious in his facial expressions and she longed to help him in any way she could.

Sighing a bit, she then glanced up at him releasing his grip on her, and she did the same with him letting her arms fall down back at her side. Placing her hat back on her head and then straightening it, Abby glanced up at him and smirked at his response.

“How so? Please share, I won’t judge you, like I said. Why not share it with me? I would not tell anyone else. It is not like I have friends to gossip with.” She said raising an eyebrow at him pushing him a bit to tell her what exactly made him so worried and tense. She then smirked once more and winked at him playfully, “I am never one to pass down challenges or bets my dear Rhett. Like I said I am very different than most women.” She replied with a proud smile as she took his arm and walked besides him down the trail towards the more private area of the park.

Still in a bit of shock of being asked to marry him practically, she shrugged, “I do not care about money. I want to marry for love, not money. Life is too short to be miserable. I would much rather be happy and poor than rich and miserable. I am bound, I really am...stop please!” She said stopping by tugging his arm immediately recognizing Andrew Mitchell the scum of a man she was suppose to be getting betrothed standing just a few yards from her.

“Come quickly please!” She said quietly pulling Rhett over to a side of the park that was surrounded by trees and she pressed him against the bark of a tree and she glanced around to see Andrew walking around the trails that they had just been on, “Just follow along.” She told him pressing herself against him, swiping her hat off and kissed him deeply on the lips hoping and praying that Andrew would pay them no attention.

[Rhett Laeghton Antony]

Rhett knew that Abby knew he was worried. He could see it in her eyes. But he would say nothing lest she inquired further in. His past was far more painful than he'd ever admit. It wasn't the worst, he knew, but he was so damn shallow that he only cared about himself and how it made him feel. He didn't enjoy speaking of his past, out of his own self-pity.

Rhett was so selfish. So, so very selfish.

He sighed. She'd asked. He would have to say it. With a sigh of surrender, and a swallowing of his selfish pride, he thought, here's to hoping I'm a good man. He looked at Abby. With sincere eyes and no more, he said flatly, "I witnessed the murder of my mother, was raised by a selfish father, and was left by the woman I was going to marry. Only my heart bears my scars. But they are deep. I took up drinking and gambling and women and cockfighting and theivery--" he probably could have left out the latter. He didn't think better of it in time. He was too bad.

He sighed and wondered if that came out lightly. It seemed like it had. The real truth was a lot deeper, a lot more emotional. That was just enough to scratch the surface.

"I mean no harm, darling. Just a simple proposal. Not a vow. But if you're promised to another..." But Abby seemed slighly preoccupied. He watched with wandering thoughts as she looked over at another man. Her betrothed? He played along when she pushed him over into a tree, and wondered what the hell was going on. Was it something to do with this man? Who was he? Goddammit, thought he, what was going on and why did he always end up being the butt of all the jokes? Was this some sort of trap?

But she kissed him. Was she hiding? Trying to inspire jealousy? Because she could do it, no doubt. He kissed her back, pulled her to him. His lust was rising again. He'd take it, no matter what it was she was trying to do. He didn't quite know what to think.

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[Abigail Bennett]

Abby sometimes cursed her curiosity and her wanting to know anything and everything. Her mother said it was a curse of being a woman, but she found that knowing everything she could was useful at times. She watched Rhett carefully after she had asked him to tell her about his past. He slowly turned his head and stared at her before answering her question. After each sentence, Abby's eyes got wider each time. She was not at all prepared for what she had heard, but she had also heard a lot worse.

Sighing feeling bad for him, she slowly reached up and stroked his cheek gently with one finger, "I'm still here aren't I? I apologize profusely about your mother, how tragic for a child to see. Are you the only child? Surely you have other relatives who care. Oh Rhett my dear I wish I could trade you places, no one deserves that pain. As for the woman who left you, her loss, not yours. How can anyone do that to someone who has obvious feelings?" She asked softly. She was so sensitive that she knew that tears would come if she was closer to him, but she blinked her eyes quickly and tried not to be so obvious about it. Rhett did not deserve that pain.

As for his activities were concerned, she sighed, the only thing that really annoyed her was the cockfighting, she loved animals and hated any abuse towards them, "To be honest, there are so many people here that do the same thing. I just don't understand the cockfighting, I don't understand what is so amusing and exciting about that. Rhett you are a good person, despise what you and everyone may think. You could have done a lot worse, of course you're hurt and trying to move on. You don't deserve that." She said with a sigh and then seeing the surprise on his face after recognizing Andrew, she felt bad for getting him involved.

As soon as they kissed deeply, Abby felt the heat rising in her skin once more. Maybe it was a bad idea, but she wanted to disguise them from Andrew. Pulling away, she decided to be honest with Rhett. He deserved at least that since he was playing along with her.

"That is Andrew Mitchell, the man Gerard wants to marry. The man who almost hit me across the face when he was drunk one night and did many other stupid, reckless things. If he saw us together, he would hurt you. Hence why I moved us back here. A proposal? I must quote you from earlier, you have just met me, how can you trust me enough to want to marry me?" She asked him curiously before becoming silent as the sound of loud boots were closer than ever. She took a deep breath, glanced up at Rhett once more and kissed him once more just as deep and passionate as before regretting nothing.

[Rhett Laeghton Antony]

Rhett sighed. She didn't understand. What had happened back home was not something that anyone could take lightly. The murder was bad enough, yes, but that woman. She was the one. Rhett had known. He sighed. He had a long story to tell now. But he would tell it, no qualms.

"It's not quite like that, Abby. She and I were lovers--true loves. I took her and she took me, and we'd promised we'd never reside in the bed of another. I loved her so, so very much." he paused. Her hand was on his cheek; should he talk like this around her? But he swallow his pride and digressed. "We were perfect for eachother. But one day she came to me, she called me a liar and a bastard. For what, I did not know. But when I asked, she told me that my father had told her the truth. I went to ask my father and he denied everything--everything! The only way I found out what she'd heard was from the maid. She told me that my father couldn't stand the woman, because she was too sweet, and so my father told her that I was already married and had been the whole time. She left me. Nothing I said would get her back."

Rhett sighed and tried to rid himself of the tears forming in his eyes. Evelyn was once going to be his wife. It was that incident that had changed him from a good, honest man to what he was now. Now, since then, he'd bedded countless women, spent so much money on terrible things.

His heart was broken, and it always would be. He would never be the same man again, and he could never love another like he'd loved Evelyn Hamilton. She was his true love. Sometimes, all he wanted was to see her again.

He kissed Abby again but it didn't feel the same. A bad taste was in his mouth, and he felt like he was betraying Abby with these thoughts of his. She didn't deserve to have that.

"My God, Abigail, why do you put up with it? Woman or no, you shouldn't have to deal with that; you should be able to run. God knows it was my only way out. I keep running." he smiled only a little, for it was still clear that he was agonized. "And it would be nice to have somone to run with." He looked her in the eyes and wondered why he'd met Abigail Bennett. She was something else.

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